Friday, March 30, 2012

Snacktacular! Snacktacular! Celebrating the Glory of Food Addictions!

Yesterday after work my husband called and asked me to meet him at our local grocery store and I was excited!

Keep your date night at the club people; the Man I Married and I like to lay our boogie down in aisle five right next to the peanuts and Doritos.



Except for one thing...

The two of us foraging around a grocery store prior to eating dinner is akin to setting a pack of wild dingoes loose in a barnyard full of chickens.




In other words, not your best idea.

Although I managed to pick up a few healthy items; the t-bone steak, Kettle Crunch potato chips and Tiramisu cheesecake that somehow made their way into my cart taunted me the entire way home.

I am an all or nothing kind of gal.

If I'm eating in a healthy manner, it's easy for me to keep it up providing I don't stray from the chosen path.

'Give me your lentils, your Wasa Crisp, and the mighty chick pea and, verily, I shall eat.'

But set my foot off the path of high fibre, and my mind begins to wander.

Especially after that first slice of cheesecake.

Or in my case; tiramisu.

But I'm proud to report that I successfully hid the two bags of Kettle Crunch chips in order to protect my husband's cholesterol.

What a wife! (I know)

Then I enjoyed a grilled t-bone with a lovely side salad, a glass of red wine and even allowed myself a small piece of tiramisu because "everything in moderation" seems the sensible way to live.

Right?

Right.

I put on my flannel pyjamas and furry socks, made a pot of peppermint green tea, lit some candles, and settled into the couch for a round of tv watching, relaxation, and self care where I caught the end of CHOPPED.

Then I put on a DVD called Angel Falls starring Heather Locklear.


The candles were twinkling, my movie was playing, and the fragrance of peppermint and lavender swirled up from the tea cup and candles by my side.



The moment was pure Zen.

In fact, the only thing missing was a voice over singing 'Celebrate the moments of your life...'

And all I could think about as I watched Heather Locklear frolic about on screen - besides the fact that she really shouldn't have had her lips done - was:

I wanted the chips.

And the longer I sat and obsessed about them, the worse the craving became.

So I rationalized.

What harm could one small bowl of chips do?

***

I crept ever so quietly to the cabinet - careful not to make any sudden noises that might alert the man snoring down the hall as to my whereabouts - and set the super sized bag of balsamic vinegar and sea salt chips free.

Then I read the nutritional info on the back.

Twelve chips had 172 calories and 9 g of fat.

Chump change people.

I could afford to eat twelve chips, get over my craving, and return to the movie.

So that's what I did.

Carefully counted out 12 chips, and then folded the bag and placed it quietly back into the China cabinet.

*Cue the dramatic silence followed by two claps of thunder*

By the end of the evening, I was hiding empty bags.

Just sayin.

***

Do you ever wonder why all the good stuff is so easy to give up?

If you told me tomorrow I could never eat another carrot, indulge in a serving of low fat cottage cheese, grapefuit, or celery, in the immortal words of Miss Gloria Gaynor - I would survive.

But take away my chips, sugar, butter, or T Bone steaks and I would be a mess!

***

Stay tuned this weekend for the announcement of the winner for my first giveaway, a video for "Nutbars" and a fabulous recipe for birthday cake!

11 comments:

  1. HAHA! I've SO been there! I cannot bring chips in the house--just not possible to resist! Your movie moment sounded so lovely...

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    1. I love those movie moments Chantal! I am also addicted to the women's network :-)

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  2. Oh, how I have missed your humor!!!!!! You just make my day and I haven't been around lately cause I thiught you had clsed commenting on your blog???? I know EXACTLY what you mean about the cravings and NOT being able to turn your brain away from the CHIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have a realtor coming in 1/2 an hour, then we are hosting our dinner group tonight (dinner is made, lasagna, and the table is set). Tomorrow night is another party!!! There goes the healthy eating for this weekend for me too:(:( XOXO, Pinky

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    1. Hi Pinky :-) I'm trying to get back to some fun humour blogging now that my work load has decreased a bit. I can't wait to see your table scapes!

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  3. I absolutely love fruit, veggies but..........I also love ice cream, a GOOD chip (I am picky) and a creamy dessert. I am never gonna lose weight!

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    1. My dad is an ice cream fanatic, so is my husband. Have you ever had Rolo ice cream? Oh my sweet heaven! It's amazing!!

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  4. Lyndsay!! I just loved this post. Thank you for making me laugh today!! Glad to know I'm not the only one. I do exactly the same thing if I know there is 'bad' food in the house. I obsess, until I crave; then I over indulge.

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    1. You should have seen me - I was like a spy on a covert mission - ha ha ha!!!

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  5. I find it reassuring as a human to know that I am not the only one who has snack indulgences that I think I would die without.

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  6. Ha! You had me laughing and bobbin' my head up and down over here. I do love healthy food...but I love unhealthy food equally as much (okay more). Keep the chips away from me. Sounds like a good day, though ;)

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  7. Lyndsay, I live in the U. S., never have seen the rolo ice cream but I am sure I would like it.

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