Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Master Chef Season 3 Episodes 5 and 6, "What Kind of a Dick Gives a Live Crab to a Blind Chick?"

Because this week is busy for me I'm going to be combining my Monday and Tuesday recaps for Master Chef into one blog.


Monday's episode began when the cooks faced their first team challenge: to cook for 201 hungry marines in outdoor portable kitchens.They were split into two teams, red and blue, with the red team preparing barbecued pork chops and potatoes, and the blue team chicken and pasta.

Despite the fact that Gordon Ramsay almost lost his mind mid way through the battle when he discovered the blue team served raw pork to a Marine,they managed to pull it out of their collective hat and just barely squeaked in a victory over the red team who were left to do the evening's pressure test: Bake the perfect all American apple pie.

Throughout last night's episode I had all but convinced myself that visually challenged finalist, Christine, would be going home because she was featured frequently throughout the episode struggling. And after facing off all those Marines and having to bake a pie sight unseen, I would have totally understood if she threw in the towel.

But that wasn't the case at all. Despite having to overcome astonishing odds, she produced one of the nicest looking apple pies I have ever seen - teaching us lessons about forming assumptions.

And speaking of assumptions, one of my early favourites to take the whole thing, Michael, crashed in the challenge with a highly creative idea that just didn't pan out: apple pie with a crispy cheddar crust. It was a wonderful idea but his execution was all wrong and he got sent home.

 Tuesday night's episode began with  a mystery box challenge that would have been the ultimate nightmare for me: Offal - including lamb's head, tongue, testicles, and sweet breads. And as the judges all stood around and talked about what they would cook, Joe shared that lambs brains and eggs were just another Sunday breakfast around his house growing up.

Meanwhile, watching Monte hacking into some testicle is going to be a great diet technique for me because my entire dinner threatened to come up as I watched.

Though Christine rocked another challenge coming up with a creamy, crispy panko crusted sweet bread, the winning dish came from Ryan and he was given another huge advantage: to choose the food that would be used in the elimination test.

The theme for the elimination was "Fresh vs Convenient" and Ryan, who was free from elimination, was asked to choose Ahi tuna, ham, or crab as the ingredient the others would cook with.

He chose crab and was then given a third task: to pick seven competitors to cook fresh crab, and seven to cook using canned.

Showing no mercy, he chose one of the live crabs to go to Christine who would then have to kill, shell, and cook it without being able to see it.

Christine Corley doppleganger Monte dead panned to the camera "What kind of dick gives a live crab to a blind chick," making her my official favourite contestant of season 3.

Once again, however, Christine triumphed and won the entire competition! Josh came in second and Monte's crab coated scotch eggs not only received raves from the judges, little bits of kindness and humanity began to leak through steely personas as Joe Bastinaich encouraged Monte to feel good about herself and her food.

In the end the person with the worst dish was Helene and she had to go home.


For an amazing appetizer featuring canned crab, you have to try my Cheesy Crab and Garlic Shrimp Loaf!

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